Insanity & Beyond...

For my 3-month employment, I'm entitled to have 49.9hours (yes, we are that exact here) of time-off and I think I'm sorely in need of a day off to do nothing but lie in bed from dawn till dusk - not that there is a lot of difference between the two because it's winter and dark almost the whole day. But at least, if I lie in bed, I don't put myself in potentially stressful and/or frustrating situations.

Before this past week, I've never experienced a nosebleed. Oh, but the joys of returning to a country with practically non-existent humidity include TWO nosebleeds (quick first aid quiz: when a person gets a nosebleed, should he/her tilt his/her head forward or backward?). To add to the stress of having a nosebleed, what better time to have it then in front of a patient! But bless the gene that allows me to be "calm" in a situation like that and "control" the nosebleed. "Control" meaning, take repeated deep breaths rapidly through the nose to try to "dry" the bleeding - it worked! (See what I mean when I said "humidity was non-existent". That's how dry the air was.) Thus, I managed to save dripping nasal haemoglobin, platelets and what-nots onto my crisp white uniform (it was Monday, too!) And so, my 84 year old patient and her 78 year old brother never had a clue that I was having a personal crisis while I was saying "Uh-huh", "hmmm" and "yeah" through the whole conversation while they were feeding me lies...

Oh yes... trying to pull the wool over my eyes, taking extreme liberties with the truth (euphemisms are ever less harsh) while I was trying my best to help them:

Me: (deep breath - I was having a nosebleed, remember?) Are the both of you coping at home?
Brother: Yes, no problems.
Me: Is there anything I can help you with? Organise services to lighten your load or provide equipment to make your life easier?
Patient and Brother: Oh no, we're fine.
Me: (looking at Brother) Are you keeping well? Were you recently hospitalised too?
Brother: Oh, no no... I was not.
Me: The nurses said you were recently hospitalised (*mumbles* for an overdose of aspirin in a suicide attempt, no less).
Brother: Hmm...
Me: Were you recently discharged home?
Brother: Y...eah.
Me: So why were you hospitalised?
Brother: For no reason, I was in one day and out the next. Just for one night.
Me: Yes, but why were you admitted into hospital?
Brother: I was feeling tired... I just came into the hospital to rest.
Me: Okayyyyyyyy...

The joys of my job!

And speaking of my job... my job description is changing! It's expanding actually... Literally expanding geographically - to include being posted to a hospital in the countryside for up to 6 months at a time. All new staff that join will have to be able to drive because the hospitals in the community are about 1hour away (by car) from the city area. Strangely though, there's no talk of providing us with cars, nor compensation for travelling time, nor allowances for petrol, insurance or road-tax. Current staff (me included) will have the option of opting into this new scheme. We are, of course, trying to get funding for "job re-training" to equip us with the ability to drive. Cheeky, yes... But no harm asking, yeah? Squeezing blood from stone comes to mind though...

That concludes this installment of insanity and beyond. Future installments are in the works, of course and perhaps I will tell you about an extremely interesting Russian patient I have (once I figure out what he's trying to say).

And finally, if you didn't understand a tenth of what happened above, that's perfectly alright.

I was just rambling...